It doesn’t take a PhD in psychology to interpret that dream.
The first part is telling me that there was nothing I could have done to stop him. My conscious mind doesn’t completely believe that there was nothing I could have done. It’s still stuck in “if only…” I suppose my subconscious mind has to keep trying to hammer that point home until I get it.
The second part is my fear of something happening to Dolly. Since Mike died, my anxiety level has increased dramatically. I have a strong fear of losing someone else I love, which I really couldn’t handle right now. I find myself being a little obsessive and over-protective of Dolly at times. I also try to tell my family that I love them as often as possible.
I have nightmares almost every night. In the beginning, my dreams were violent and twisted, often involving decapitation, which sort of makes sense considering how Mike died. I’ve had a lot of dreams about my parents getting killed, which again is fear of something happening to someone else in my family. Mostly I have dreams about Mike. In one dream he was Mike as a little boy, and he had become friends with Dolly. I was watching them through a window, but couldn’t keep track of them. In the dreams where he dies, I’m never able to get to him in time. In the dreams where he is alive, I have to face his death again as soon as I wake up.